Her flame died down to a flicker, and then an ember, so I waited, certain there was no hope of a mighty blaze. But every time I looked closely I could see the tiny glow that hung on, regardless of the elements.
When the sun came out and there was a delightful breeze, I noticed signs of actual flame, so I began to doubt my own disbelief. Maybe there was hope after all.
Even when the rains came and thunderous skies unleashed their wrath, something always fell into place to cover and protect the suffocating embers so they didn’t go completely cold.
Was it destiny? Did this child come into the world to find light and strength in her weakness? Maybe that’s it.
Yes, that’s it.
The peaceful warrior cannot carry out her mission if there is no war to fight on a personal level. She must come face to face with the taste of battle. She is to know sorrow, despair, and even destruction on some levels. She must learn to discern and befriend danger. How else can she know courage? How else can she find her own strength?
Sometimes the journey involves a waiting period – years of observation with no direction – no action to take. The fire goes out, and we feel like a martyr – defenseless, resigned, and willing to give up the ghost, if necessary. Yet there is a knowing that we will not be completely consumed. The suffering is not to hurt us, and so we know we must not take it at face value.
Purposeful suffering is not easily understood. One has to undergo the mystery personally, or be gifted with sharp perception when someone attempts to describe how it is. It is similar to explaining why a caged bird belts out a melody as if it is the happiest creature on earth.
Purposeful suffering can only be surmised as this: The sufferer knows the calling of the soul, and she is drawn to it despite circumstances. She is willing to die for it. Any amount of suffering, therefore, can be taken with grace. The bird does not try to calculate how many other birds are out there singing and whether they are singing in a meadow or a cage; neither do we who have a light to shine judge our light and our suffering by that of others.
When life has strengthened us enough, we are able to bring our flame into the world, starting with our own world.
The sun rises one morning and we know the day has arrived. There will be no more waiting. The observation phase is over now, and points have been noted. We are ready – equipped with a song, a fire, and a keen sword.
It is time to permit the divine child to burst into a mighty blaze. She is the only one in the whole world who can light fires HER way.
I liberate her now.