“Why don’t I drown in my own tears and die already?” – from Top Ten Drama Queen Quotes
Do people really feel that awful, or are they just being funny?
The general consensus seems to be that it is simply not human to transcend human emotion, so the reactions are less than a state of ease, shall we say? But here’s what I have discovered …
Human emotions happen. They do. All the time. Yes. They do. I know this firsthand. In fact, sometimes things transpire that make me want to scream, and honestly, I do. However, I do this only to people who really know me and understand that I am venting in effort to make someone laugh at me so I can move on to transcending the awful, painful, excruciatingly nonsensical BS that just landed in my lap.
But transcend I will. No question about that. No doubt. And I am not bragging. Why would I do that? My passion is helping others transcend too, so that we can ALL hover above the challenges of life. And we CAN.
What is apparent to me, however is that people unwittingly have more fun wallowing in the muck & mire of misfortune, and all too often they pull others into their drama. Ironically and sadly, that is actually what happens. News of a negative nature even sells well because there is a segment of society that tends to follow the awfulizing nonsense we get to hear on TV and in the drama queen’s ranting. Some are naturally drawn to drama because it is a license to say, “See? Life sucks!” This provides reprieve from the responsibility of taking the wheel of their own ship and steering it to calmer waters.
It is a ticket to helplessness in which impossibility wins over hope.
And that’s why I say it’s sad.
People will scream at people who have learned to transcend suffering, saying, “Then how do I do this?! Tell me!!” But when we do, they shoot back with, “Well, that’s fine for you, but you haven’t had MY suffering!” And dare I say, “I don’t have YOUR pain, but I have mine.” What a futile statement THAT is to someone who is already convinced that I cannot possibly have had as much pain as they have.
Those are the ones I leave to their own devices … until they are really and sincerely seeking an answer, and not just itching for a fight. I refuse to try to help someone who is so set in his/her dilemma that they will defend their ongoing torture until I simply shut up.
Shut up I do … because I have zero interest in entertaining ongoing sagas.
But for the rest – for those who are genuinely seeking meaning and transcendence over pain, I offer the greatest treasures that I myself find to be true, whole, and liberating. They work. They really do.
You see it starts with challenging my opinion, my perception, my filters through which I have come to see life. Most of us have had some measure of negative teaching in our lives, by way of misguided adults or by personal experience. We learn that life has specific rules, outcomes, loads of pain, and that we must each fight a battle for success and survival of self. It is in giving up the desire for specific outcomes, and challenging all our teachings that we find a deeper wisdom. It is knowing that the same force (God, universe, higher power) that formed us in the womb did not stop working in our lives simply because we slid down the birth canal and into a world of other humans. That core energy that kept our fingernails growing, our hearts “learning” to beat, and our skin forming a protective coating to keep our innards from falling out, is still in operation.
It is a wisdom, a power, and an intelligence that we somehow learn not to trust from a very early age. We detach from our god-given right to be free, inspired, and whole by the outside influences that we are now exposed to.
So, here is how I transcend pain, so that it does not turn to suffering:
I go back. I go way back to where I am that tiny embryo, then fetus, fully trusting that I do not need to worry about anything … as long as I am doing my part. EVERYTHING else then get’s put on a shelf for “someone else” to take care of.
You know what it really comes down to?
Fearlessness … even of dying.
I have learned to not be afraid of dying. I have been in some very dark places, and I know now that dying cannot possibly be worse than some of the things I have encountered. Once you are unafraid to die, you are set free to detach yourself from outcomes, thereby allowing yourself to laugh, give, love, and relax from the inside out. Nothing phases you. Nothing really bothers you (at least not for any length of time, because you know what state of mind to go back into).
So, when challenge comes now I am quicker to get curious rather than mad. I do feel emotion first, and at times I even bask in it … but beyond it all, I know I can move from a dis-empowering feeling to a more wholesome state of surrender, release, and letting it all go. My only responsibility is to do my best and to love wholeheartedly from what I feel is my greatest purpose for being here.
What always transpires from this state, this knowing, is a brighter outcome than I ever imagined. And I usually arrive out of a situation with enough hope to offer others as well.
If you choose to remain a drama queen, life itself will keep delivering drama your way until you have been broken enough to say, “I surrender the need to control and to know everything FOR SURE. I trust. I wait. I know I am being guided through this.”