Friends … Really

Saturday, January 14, 2012

An old autograph book of mine is graced with  the following quote, handwritten by a college friend, “True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare; false friends are like leaves, found everywhere.” – anonymous

In life we find out for ourselves the wisdom of these words, and at some point we each must decide which kind of friendships we accept and appreciate. 

Do I want to be a fair weather friend, or one who remains steadfast and true to someone in their dull or troublesome days?  Do I want to have  a gazillion friends heaped in a colorful pile on my Facebook list?  Or is it more significant to me that I have just a few friends who really matter?

Here are some observations that might be worth pondering as we form new acquaintances and let go of those that no longer serve a healthy purpose:

1)      In some friendships, love exists only because two people need each other; in truer ones, a need exists because people love to be in each other’s presence.

2)      Some friends love to pamper you in return for your lavish praise of them;  truer friends are big-hearted enough to champion you whether or not their kindness is publicized.

3)      Some friends will be in touch when they have a crisis;  truer friends will touch base just to share in your day.

4)      Some friends accept you if you agree with them;  truer friends can agree to disagree but still honor your friendship.

5)      Some friends will join you in gossip;  truer friends will let you know that by not gossiping WITH you, they would never gossip ABOUT you.

6)      Some friendships will offer you loads of pity during your trials; truer friends will offer empathy but will remind you of how capable and loved you are.

7)      Some friends will cover your back when you are doing wrong; truer friends will show you a greater you.

8)      Some friends will add to your drama by fueling the flames of bitterness, self-pity, and self-righteousness;  truer friends will diffuse the drama and help you come back to a more balanced perception of situations.

9)      Some friendships drain your energy;  truer friendships leave you feeling lifted.

10)      Some friends will lie to you rather than hurt you;  truer friends will softly speak the truth to you in a non-condemning manner of love.

So the choice is always there: 

Would you rather have a multitude of friends who you are never really sure of?  Or would you rather have one or two friends who you know you can count on to be light, love, honesty, and integrity?

Until we chat again … may you seek to be inspired in all ways.

Verna       All Ways Inspired

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